I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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