So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so let's talk penis.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
