True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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