This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
