I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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