awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
