also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
