Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
