i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
