So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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