See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
