at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
