He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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