we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
