Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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