I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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