But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
