So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
