2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
