I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
