Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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