Don't you send me to vm
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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