You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
