Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
