I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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