In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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