yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
