i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
