Ambien. No doubt about it.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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