your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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