you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
