Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
