I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
