Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
