she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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