Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
a search helicopter?!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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