your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
