Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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