She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
How's work?
Spinning.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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