Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize