Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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