dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
