Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
