I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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