Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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