I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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