it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
