I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
