Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize