did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize