Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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