16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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