eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
