if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
