I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
