FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
