Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
