dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
