the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
