I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i barfeds in our rink
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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