did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
