She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize