mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
